Friday, January 29, 2016

Thorny Times


So, I woke up and January's almost over. This month has been a plague of humdrum missions and bad news. David Bowie is dead. Alan Rickman is dead. Half of my brain cells are dead. My dreams are dead. My fingertips are numb with the cold and my feet hide under the blanket as I blankly stare into the laptop screen. My stomach yearns for herby potato cakes and I can't tell if it's afternoon or evening because it's always dark and dim. 

Most people I miss I won't see anytime soon. Everyone else either bores me or annoys me. It's been now a year ever since I have left my small town in Portugal and moved to dirty old Dublin. One year. Time outruns everything, maybe even the speed of light. My relationship with this city had its ups and (melt)downs but apart from those greasy Centra breakfast rolls that I thought my liver would be able to process, I regret nothing.

I still find myself gazing at the Liffey whenever I cross a forever pretty Ha'penny Bridge. I still smile at the Moore St vendors and the butcher's jokes regarding my weekly meat needs still manage to make me giggle. The city never looks the same twice and there is always a pub around the corner I haven't set foot in yet. Sometimes I hate the tourists, the crowds, even some of the buskers. At the end of the day, I just want to go home and listen to Chet Baker after a long shower, Paddy & Ginger Ale by my side.

When I came to Ireland, I didn't have a house, a gang of friends or even the certainty of a job waiting for me. The step I took was a risky one but I kinda feel proud of my working class ass since I never had a trust fund, a sugar daddy or rich parents to pay for my rent, my luxury soaps, my hospital bills and my lobster bruschettas. Like a friend of mine once said, until the bad things catch up with the good things, let's keep on living it.

9 comments:

  1. É preciso coragem e força para tomar a decisão de emigrar...espero que a Primavera dissolva a melancolia!

    Ah, a Ha'penny bridge! Isto relembra-me que tenho fotos com quase 2 anos, de Dublin, que estão à espera que as edite! Bad girl!

    beijinhos, Nádia
    My Fashion Insider

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  2. I lift my huge ass from my chair and give you a standing ovation - não é qq pessoa q consegue ir, e permanecer como tu o fizeste. Tens toda a razão em estares orgulhosa de ti mm. Qto á melancolia acho q isso já é coisa tua mesmo, não haverá nada a fazer, nisso és parecida comigo, e a melancolia pode ser algo tão booooom... digo eu!
    http://bloglairdutemps.blogspot.pt/

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  3. January is the hardest month, the mornings get darker till the 25th even though the evenings are getting longer. Then you have february which is usually the second worst month, but at least its short and the daffodils are usually out. The best way to survive I have found, is to book a really cheap flight to Southern Spain or Morocco and it breaks it up.

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  4. Love this post. You have attitude lady.

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  5. Love everything about this post (and you, as always). Spring will come soon :)
    www.thedevilwearstartan.com

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  6. Só tens razões para teres orgulho em ti própria.
    És uma grande mulher embora pareças uma menina.
    E a Primavera não tardará.
    xx

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  7. sabes, nao ha dia que passe e pense em sair daqui, ir pro uk ou irlanda mesmo mas falta me sempre a coragem. o que é ironico, visto que aos 17 fui para o porto sem trabalho, sem dinheiro, começar la a vida. mas outro pais é logo outro peso.. nao sei. tenho medo e gabo te a coragem mesmo, é de louvar! és um orgulho miss wilde <3

    http://rrriotdontdiet.blogspot.pt/

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  8. Tu tens uns tomates do caraças digo-te, e tu certamente sabes disso, só que nem sempre deve ser suficiente acho. Mas também acho que é preciso sentir o que sentes e admitir isso. Vejo no facebook tanta gente que foi pra Londres e assim e é tudo lindo e maravilhoso... it can't!
    Gabo-te o teu jeito de escreveres e te expressares, é algo que me atrai muito no teu blog e, já agora, bela escolha de foto para este post, não é apenas uma ilustração, complementa bem o teu texto :)

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  9. Bem eu estou a pensar mandar me para Londres, mas não é fácil... Gabo te a coragem !

    Theblackeffect


    Theblackeffect facebook page

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